The Little Girl is Trying to Become Even Smaller

So, I'm not THAT little. I am short and maybe slightly chubby...okay, maybe more than slightly chubby. I am overweight. There, I said it. I admit it. It's a condition that many of us are familiar with. I was not born with a fast metabolism, I have a broad build, and I like food.

But as I grow older, I've realized that I can't continue this way. I used to think "bah, I'm still young, I have time to mend my ways." And then KABOOM! I celebrated my 30th birthday last year. Where has all the time gone?

So, I'm trying to lose weight. No, let's rephrase that, I am trying to become healthier. Losing weight will be a byproduct. I want to start having a family soon, and I can't afford to remain the same size. It will only create more problems for myself. I also have a high risk of developing Type 2 diabetes, as my grandmother and now my mother has it.

I love life, I love food and sometimes the two don't reconcile. So, I must make amends. I must make changes in my life.

This blog will help me remain accountable to someone. Anyone. Maybe someone will read it and feel the same way. I have a supportive partner who loves me, and this gives me strength...but I have yet to learn to love myself. I hate not being able to buy clothes in a normal store. I hate looking at myself and thinking that I'm not pretty. Yet, I know that the road to becoming smaller is fraught with obstacles, the largest one being, myself. I need to believe that I can do it and not just give up like I have in the past. I don't want to have a typical yo-yo diet.

It's worked somewhat so far. In the last year and a half I have lost close 20 Kilograms. It's a definite start. I know I can do better. I currently weigh 80 Kilos. (I hate seeing that written down, but I need to face it.) For my height of 1.5 meters, that's obese. I can get away with looking "cute" but it's definitely unhealthy. My goal is to become 75 by my wedding in July. An even bigger goal is to be 65 Kilograms by the time I go on vacation to the Hong Kong and the Philippines by the end of September, and finally, 55 Kilograms by Christmas. Can I do it? Yes. Will I do it? That has yet to be seen. I hope so. I have a bikini to fit into!